This blog post coming live from the dark corner of my room. I'm back. So, earlier today, i got an email from jayden. Well, to sum things up, he said that i need to move on and stop talking to him completely. Oh, you heard that sound? Yeah, that was the sound of my heart breaking. Again. I have lots of ideas for poems flying through my head, so i guess i'll do the only thing i'm good at; Writing.

I'm back to where i began;

sitting in my dark room all alone,

With memories clouding my brain,

And sad music paying form my phone

There's this void in my chest;

I feel completely broken,

Those words of despair

Not dared to be spoken.

My heart is like an egg, 

That has been cracked one too many times,

by those who came but decided to leave,

It has just made me unwind.

With each word thrown at me

Each hurting a little more than the last

Each leaves a little crack,

From now and from the past.

I'm like an anchor,

slowly sinking to the depths of the sea

I see divers all breathing around

and they all confuse me what what i used to be.

I used to be free,

I used to lay in the grass,

I used to make shapes out of clouds

And breathe and relax and laugh.

Now the only noise I make

Is the wheezing from my lungs

Each breath barely audible

And each slipping past my tongue.

The only feeling i know

is agonizing pain and sorrow,

from the times when people have taken bits of my heart

However their intent wasn't to borrow.

By opening myself to others

i'm leaving room for disappointment

Allowing them to use me

Except i never knew what that meant.

Now i know

Opening myself means giving them a gun

And having them point it at my head

Trusting that they wont pull the trigger

But them holding it until their hand turns red.

This feeling is like 

he not only pulled the trigger,

but he killed any chance

Of my heart and our love growing bigger.

So my advice to you?

Be careful who you trust,

You never know when

You'll be blown away in the wind like dust.